Parenting Love or Big Mistake
Parenting and love. Love is patient, love is tender…. you know what else love is? It’s spoiled!Once upon a time, one of the cruelest humiliation was to be called SPOILED. It was one of the epithets used not that often, but when it was used, it hurt a lot. Not one single child wanted to hear that word said to him.Nowadays, we don’t even hear that word in a mean context, maybe because the phrase is old-fashioned? Or because all the children are spoiled? We searched for the meaning of the word “spoiled” out of curiosity, and we found out it means “to destroy, damage” the character of the child with extreme condescension.
It is hard to maintain good parenting with new generations. Parenting it`s a big responsibility. All the everyday responsibilities keep us under pressure, so when our child asks for something, it is easier for us just to satisfy him rather than teach him. For example, when the child asks for a candy, we give him one, but what we should do is teach him that it is better to eat fruit. But we don’t have time for that. Or when he asks for something expensive, because his friend has that same thing, we feel sorry and buy him that thing. Or, when his room is a mess, it is easier to just tidy it ourselves rather than make him pick up the mess.Parenting need to contain more conversations.
It is a lot easier to just give him what he wants and make him happy. It is what we want, isn’t it? A happy child! But, happy and spoiled? No! We just show them that they are the center of the universe and teach the, that the purpose of life is to be satisfied with material things.Do we even understand what we are doing here?Probably not. Because if we did understand we are destroying our kids, we wouldn’t be doing that. We can all see two-year-olds ruling with the whole family. The parents are even afraid to set a sleep time, they have to beg their children to go to bed. Five-year-olds insisting on expensive toys, and their parents end up buying them those toys, 16-year-olds driving expensive cars.
The Goal of Parenting
The children are spoiled, the parents give up and the whole society suffers. This isn’t about if we could afford these things financially. It is about setting borders and teaching the child the real qualities and purpose of life. Teaching the child that it shouldn’t be seeking for material things to make him happy.Parenting need a lot of patience.By refusing to give your child something, it doesn’t mean that you don’t love him, or that you will destroy his life and leave him with no friends. Of course, you will make him angry. Yes, he will be different than his friends. Yes, your family will be different that the other families. But isn’t this something good?
When the child grows up, it will understand all these refusals and will understand the real meaning of life. The child will seek for your advice and your friendship instead of satisfying himself with expensive things and being empty on the inside. The child will appreciate the good and healthy things in life rather than the easy and bad things. He/She will know what responsibilities mean and will know how to handle them right. He/She will understand you love him even more than enough to say “NO”.The goal of good parenting is finding the balance when is time say “NO”.