Having a child is not only about taking care of them. It’s about making them human beings, ready for the world. A normal human being is ready for the world when it has the full confidence first at home, with his parents. Having confidence in parents is very important for growing up and dealing with everything in life. It influences other relationships, whether with a partner, friends, colleagues or everyone in life.
There is no need for anger, yelling, embarrassment or shock. These only have devastating effects on the child. Whatever happens, just stay calm and except it. Try to handle it in a peaceful way. They will be more open to us when they see we don’t judge them.
There should be no subjects off limits. Children are curious and want to know everything. If you don’t let them talk about everything, they will find the answers elsewhere and you won’t even know what they want to know.
We should always try to see from the children’s perspective. This gives them confidence and feeling that we are always on their side. They know that we’re looking for their best interest and we get to know their motives and needs.
Let your child know that you can keep their secrets. They wouldn’t want to share their secrets with someone who would tell that to others.
Even though the things that interest our kids may be boring for us, we must show interest too. This will give them more confidence and trust. When they know that we want to know about small things, tomorrow they will come and confide in us about the big things.
We must watch and observe our kids behavior. We need to know their mood swings and changes in behavior. Children will not come and tell us everything. Some things we need to figure out by ourselves.
When you have more kids, you need to make time for every one of them. Alone time. Focusing only on one child and building closeness with them. It can be done by going out alone with them, small talk before bedtime, doing chores around the house with them. Just paying attention to one at a time, so that they can be more open.
Keeping ourselves quiet and letting them they speak we give them a chance to form their own opinions and think more. If we want them to talk to us, we must give them chance. This could be difficult to some parents, but keep in mind that this is for your child’s sake.
First, we need to make our kids know they are not the center of the universe, and there are times when they cannot talk, so they need to wait patiently. But when we talk with them, full and complete attention must be given. This makes them think their opinion matters and is valued.
You must ask for forgiveness when we do something wrong to them. We must admit when we don’t know the answer. You must let them see our weakness. This builds their trust in us.