The most wonderful thing in the world – being a parent. The joyous time of our lives. Trying hard to do the best for our children, and yet, at the end of the day, we realize we make a lot of mistakes. But, like in every other part of our lives, nobody is perfect. There is no perfect parent. We all yell, do something we didn’t mean to, say something we later regret. Here are some FAQs and advices on how to be the best we can to provide a normal life for our children.
We all get frustrated sometimes. Every parent does. Raising a child consumes energy and time. It is even worse when we have personal problems. To do better you must first think of yourself. Take care of yourself so that you can take better care of the child. So, what do we do? Just take a break. Everybody needs this. Let your partner deal with it for a while. Take turns. If you are a single parent, ask your nearest relatives and friends to come and help with nursing, so that you have some time alone.
No, you’re not the only one who loses temper. It’s normal to feel angry. But it is very important to control yourself during these times. Just count to 10, take a deep breath, and calm down. Everything will be fine. Don’t take it out of the child. Go for a walk with the child. Or, if you really need to be alone, ask someone to stay with the child and go out by yourself or with a friend. If you are in crisis and can’t control your reactions, even if it is yelling only, ask for help from a doctor. The doctor can give you advises and resources for help. If it goes on for a longer time, there are support groups that help parents in need. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Better ask for help yourself, otherwise, the child will ask for help in later years, and not from you, but from someone else. Think about this.
I spanked my child, I feel awful
You feel furious, so unintentionally you did it. Or, you felt like it and did it. But this isn’t the best way to discipline children. It will keep them away from doing something out of fear. You need to teach him what is good and what is bad for him. Redirecting is a great way. Show him that to play with the ball, he needs to be outside. Or, when it is lunch time, he cannot play. But do this with patience and by teaching him. Show them they have responsibilities for their actions. Every action has a reaction. They need to know this in order to distinguish what they can do or cannot do.
What should I do to be a better parent?
Show your love every day by saying “I love you”, by hugging and kissing. Listen when the children speak and show interest. Make them feel safe and comfort them when they’re scared. Make order in life by applying schedules and prepare them for changes. Show them you’re proud of them. Criticize the behavior, show that the action is wrong, not that the child cannot deal with the situation. Be consistent in your rules, don’t change them. And finally, spend a lot of time with them. The children start doing what they shouldn’t when they don’t get your attention.
Where can I get help?
There are many parenting classes in the hospitals, community centers, and schools. Doctors and counselors can also help. Don’t feel embarrassed when you need help. Better ask for it earlier than too late.